no puedo vivir sinti

okay, as i re-read my previous entries, jus realised i was half wallowing in self-pity n perhaps harbouring sucidal thoughts..*gags*
just back from sanctification night 4 and i guess this was the most useful night to me..not that the previous 3 were useless but this was the one which i could u know, totally relate. yeaup. was actually considering going ITE but couldnt bring myself to do it. and my mum was kind of like very concern over me, practically calling me everyday on news abt o levels n stuff..*touched* rang up several private schools and man, they charge exhorbitant prices for ONE subject! the Queensfield school, they charge like $120 per subject?! haha..daylight robbery. but yea going down some eddington private school tml, price more reasonable ($60) and got the subjects i want (eng, comb. humans).
yea perhaps God just wanna use me for some of His purpose so yea. it's time to face the world again! woo-hoo. i dont blame Him i guess. it was hmm..i dunno? aiyah just dun laugh at me cox i'm dumb k? *laughs weakly*
hmm...jus dunno whether should i re-take Emath or Comb.science..u know, like back-up jus in case Cambridge sadistically hates me n wanna see me suffer..*cross fingers*